A Beautiful Home

Little boy and his mum

Little boy :
Mummy, why were you jumping up and down on daddy's belly last night?
Mum:
Well sometimes your dads belly gets too big and mummy has to flatten it down again.
Little Boy:
I don't know why you bother, cause when you go to work, Sis Mercy of next door comes round and blows it back up again.

Guys should be careful nowadays

Nowadays if guyz are not careful ehn, with the rate of bleaching they can date a girl twice without knowing...
They'd be like...

Boy: Babe you look very familiar...
Girl: Yea... You dated me in 2012... I was black then.
Lol.

A new longest muscle discovered

A new longest muscle has been discovered, it is called the palpebral anal muscle it connects the upper eye lids to the anus that's why when you blink your eyes the anus opens
I bet the mumu's are seriously
blinking to feel if the anus would open.
....lol I couldn't be the only mumu me sef person send am ooo.

The Stupidity Of A Waster

The Stupidity Of A Waster

Stupidity 1...A Bathing soap for 80k??
Will it wash away sins and sorrows?

Stupidity 2.... One Eye glasses for 350k??
If I wear it, will I be able to see the future?

Stupidity 3 .... An Italian shoe for 150k?? Will I be able to walk on water?

Stupidity 4 .... A Plasma TV for 500k?? Will it show me the Judgement day on the last day live?

Stupidity 5 .... A Gold plated mobile phone for 3 million naira. Chai!!! Will I use it to answer heaven's call?

Stupidity 6 .... A Hand Bag for 1.3Million naira?? Will I put my life inside it?

Stupidity 7 .... 2 million naira for a table in comedy show. Which kind laugh I never laugh before?

Stupidity 8 ... 3 Million naira per year at a university. After graduation, will they make me the president?

Sometimes, I wonder why some people spend like crazy, knowing full well that there are hungry children in the streets roaming about naked.

1. The smallest act of kindness you show, can change someone's life.

2. Remember, money only brings happiness if you help people with it.

3. Let someone say to you, BECAUSE OF YOU I DIDN'T GIVE UP !!!

When God blesses you financially, don't just raise your STANDARD OF LIVING, also raise your STANDARD OF GIVING.

Caught by a teacher

It was a weekend and my really hot media studies teacher had asked us to come in specially to do some work on the school newspaper. i was getting really bored sat with everyone in the IT room typing, so i went for a walk round the empty school with a few mates.

On the way back i decided to go into one of the empty rooms as i needed the A3 printer in there. The rest of my mates went back to class and i sat in the room on my own. It was a hot day and for some reason i had a desperate urge for a wank. As no one was around, i thought, why not; no one knows i'm in here, so i pulled down my pants and started to do what we blokes do best.
I'd just come to the end when my media studies teacher walked into the room, wondering where i'd got to. she caught me there and then, holding my dick, all flustered, all alone in the classroom! She stood there and then said rather anoyed, "back in here please". i've never been so embarrassed and didnt live it down til school ended. It was almost the end of the school year anyway, but we could never look at each other in the same way again.
COPIED FROM DESERTOFWATER



I knew this was wrong


I knew this was wrong, knew it - but didn't care less, as my big strong hands ran up her hold-up clad legs that disappeared inside the tight black pencil skirt.

Thinking back - i knew I was attracted to her when she first walked in to my office for the job interview - as we are a firm of financial advisers, appearance is important, and my god the first impression created by this woman was so good. She was average build, a tight body that has clearly been worked on regularly - she was about 5'5. Her dark hair was hanging loose to her shoulders. Her eyes were dark smouldering brown, but it was the ready smile that had me hooked from the off.

The interview had gone well - and Jayne had got the job - what - ummm about 12 months ago now. Over the next 12 months, my lust had grown, I know she'd seen the looks I gave her, and had not responded to them - well unless the drunken kiss and cuddle at the office christmas party about 3 months ago had counted ?

How did i come to have my hands roaming over her body you may be thinking? well it was the annual review - and frankly i was in control of the bonus payment allocation. I wanted her - and had made it totally clear that if she wanted the maximum bonus this year, then she'd be a good girl and obey my instructions.

The first instruction had been messengered to her yesterday - that was to wear what she had been wearing on the day of the interview today - with a reminder of what that had been in case she hadn't remembered. She'd walked into the office this morning and sat as instructed. I closed the door firmly behind her, my secretary next door, knowing that we were not to be disturbed. The conversation between us had been strained - but I'd made it clear that if she wanted the bonus, Jayne would need to "work" for it.

There was no smile as she'd sighed, got up and approached my desk - she placed one hand, palm down on it, and used her other hand to pull my head forwards - she kissed me then, a light tentative lick of a kiss - brushing my lips with a tease and a hint of more to come. God she smelt good - there was a musky perfume smell which i didnt have a clue about the name of - but it just smelt so fitting for her.

her lips pulled away before pressing back onto mine - this time there was a hint of urgency in the kiss, her tongue snaking between my lips. Fuck - that kiss - well that was it - I'd never normally have done this - but I was a victim of the surge of lust coursing through my system - my hands went to her head and one fist curled into those long dark locks, the other hand pulling her towards me - not letting her head move as I returned the kiss with passion, lust and desire.

Our tongues danced and twirled, the passion of the kiss taking us both. I felt my cock stiffen with anticipation. reluctantly breaking away from Jayne, i walked around the desk - she now had both palms resting on its surface and well to be honest the heels she was wearing made her toned body look like a goddess. She lifted her arse in the air slightly - a move which positively had me wiping the saliva from the corner of my mouth.

I came up behind her - and thats how you find us now - my hands roaming and exploring her curves. Whilst we shouldnt be disturbed there is always that risk - but I am past caring - my big tall 6'5 body wraps around her smaller frame like a cloak - I grab her hair in a fist and pull it away from her neck - my lips brushing her skin softly before giving it a lick and then a little nip with my teeth. My spare hand moves her legs apart and my body presses her down so that her hands cant support our weight and her chest gets squashed between my desk and my own chest. my hand slides her pencil skirt up - tugging it higher and higher, past her stocking tops and then revealing a gorgeous pert arse - partially covered in a gorgeous red thong. My hand slides between those legs and surprisingly i feel a hint of dampness - it seems that the kiss has had an effect not only on my own body but on hers as well ?

She murmurs "sir, please, don't" but I ignore the plea, my lust has taken me beyond rational thought - desire is the only thing I'm responding to right now, well that and the aching bulge that's crying out for attention in my suit pants.
Letting go of Jayne's hair, I turn her around and get her to sit on the edge of my desk - she moves some papers out of the way, and does as instructed. moving back towards her - i use my knees to open her legs once more - her skirt hitched up around her waist, that lovely thong on view - i grasp the 2 sides of her crisp white blouse and pull, buttons flinging off like a manequin cum shot. Her smallish boobs encased in a flowery white bra come in to view - with a practiced hand I pop both boobs out of the top of the bra - her nipples are hard and pointy already - I smile at her and bend my head to capture each breast in turn in my mouth, sucking, nibbling and then lightly biting each tender tip. Jayne moans a little and grasps my head in both hands to pull my face harder against her skin.

i pulse the sucks on each nipple and slide another eager hand between her legs- there is no doubt now about the heat and desire flooding her panties, which show a very evident damp spot. My fingers slip inside the edge of the thong, pulling it roughly to one side, my fingers parting her cunt lips eagerly - god she's so wet I think to myself.

Using both hands I part her lips and give several light slaps on her tender clit -sucking a little harder on each nipple as i do so. her moans coincide with a volumous increase in the dampness that i'm touching and playing with. Her shaven pussy is everything a man could want - "and fuck me yesss i'm going to have it and soon" I say to myself.

as I pull my head back I notice the look in her eyes has changed from "sir please no" to "come on you dirty fucker - use me like a cheap whore" - god I hope I'm not the only one that knows what I mean there

Jayne's hands slide down my body - she pulls my tie to one side and slides her hand down my shirt to caress the huge bulge that the thin material of my suit does nothing to hide.

"sir - please - sod the bonus- I want cock and I want it now" and with that she slaps my erection through my suit.

coming closer I kiss her full on the lips, biting her bottom lip and pulling it i suck a little on it. she begins to undo my pants and zipper yanking them down - but not off my muscular thighs - just enough to see my hard cock tent-poling my tight white boxers, also damp with a precum puddle.

wasting no time Jayne yanks the boxers down - my hard cock springing free from restraint - she grasps it and pulls me closer - pausing to rub the big glob of precum that is evident, over her clit.

"god sir - its so thick - please be gentle with me" - with that she smiles what can only be described as a wicked lusty smile.

I let go of her breasts slide my hands down her hips and grasping my meat in one hand rub the engorged head all over her slit and clit - telling her to watch as i force the tip in - no messing around - just enough to stretch her open.the feeling of her warm wet cunt caressing my cock head was awesome - so much so I gave a much harder quicker thrust than I was really going to - her pussy yielded swiftly , her tightness rolling back my foreskin as my cock went deeper and deeper inside her tight fit body. she gasped, leant forward and murmured a "fuck yes" in my ear.

I wasnt expecting to be interupted, but the feeling of being inside this hot sexy woman and fucking her on my desk edge was hot, so hot that i needed to slow down a bit or this would be over way too quickly

Pulling out of her pussy with a wet plop, I tell Jayne to suck and lick me clean - my shaven balls are wet with her juices, and my shaft glistens with precum and her own fuck solution. She falls to her knees, those sexy hard boobs jiggling a little as she does so - I take her head in my hand and she willingly sticks her tongue out applying it readily to my sticky meat and veg.

Lust takes over again at this point - i tell her to bend over across my desk - she does so - and this time she parts her arse cheeks and holds them spread wide - such an invitation as hot as any guy could want or desire - she looked back at me and smiled saying "come on sir - you know you fucking want it"

well what can I say ? I grabbed her hips and just buried my cock straight inside her - pulling her back as my thrust went deep. she felt so good - and her pert little ass entrance was there begging for some attention - I licked a finger and slid it around and around her bum hole - pressing against the resistance there as i fucked and used her - i was pressing my finger in time with the thrusts - and finally pressed it slowly into her ass. she let out an almost animalistic growl - looked around and said "you dirty fucker sir - you've done it now - please, please fucking give me the works"
So i did - I fucked her so hard it must have felt like i was trying to press her through the material of the desk - i leant over her and pulling her head back by the hair, i bit her neck, pressing my cock deep inside her, my balls rubbing and then my finger going deeper into that lovely tight ass.

She was gasping now as our passion built, the desk was creaking and groaning and our moans were not quiet - but do you know what? "fuck it" i thought - live life in the moment and fuck the consequences.

Well my consequence was getting well and truly pounded - so much so, i let out a heart felt "fuck" as my balls churned and my seed pumped deep inside this beauty. wave after wave of hot sticky baby batter soaking her womb.

I pulled out - a glob of jism leaking from my tip and rubbed my now semi hard cock around her tight bumhole - "next time" i said to her half in jest.

"now pull your thong back in to place, i want you sat with my cum seaping out of you during the afternoon as a reminder"

She did as instructed and pulled her top together, smilled and then took it off as it was ruined and pulled out a small cardi that she had in her handbag.

"about the bonus sir ?"

"well let me consider that - I'll let you know "

She walked out, adjusting her skirt as she left ......
#BIGBIRD POST
 

21 Things You Didn't Know About... Hard Drive

21 Things You Didn't Know About... Hard Drive.
All of our computers, big and small, have hard drives of some type and most of us know that it's the piece of hardware that stores our software, music, videos, and even our operating systems.
Beyond that, though, there are probably at least a few things you didn't know about this ubiquitous piece of computing equipment:
1.
The very first hard drive, the 350 Disk Storage Unit, didn't just show up on store shelves out of nowhere but was part of a complete computer system by IBM, released in September, 1956... yes, 1956 !
2.
IBM started shipping this amazing new device to other companies in 1958 but they probably didn't just stick it in the mail - the world's first hard drive was about the size of an industrial refrigerator
.
3.
Shipping that thing was probably last on any buyer's mind, however, considering the fact that in 1961 this hard drive rented for over $1,000 USD per month. If that seemed outrageous, you could always purchase it for a little over $34,000 USD.
4.
An average hard drive available today, like this 8 TB Seagate model at Amazon that sells for a little over $200 USD, is over 300 million times cheaper than that first IBM drive was.
5.
If a customer in 1960 wanted that much storage, it would have cost her $77.2 Billion USD, a little more than the entire GDP of the United Kingdom that year
!
6.
IBM's expensive, monstrosity of a hard drive had a total capacity of just under 4 MB, about the size of a single , average-quality music track like you'd get from iTunes or
Amazon.
7.
Today's hard drives can store a bit more than that. As of late 2015, Samsung holds the record for the largest hard drive, the 16 TB PM1633a SSD, but 8 TB drives are much more common.
8.
So just 60 years after IBM's 3.75 MB hard drive was the best of the best, you can get over 2 million times as much storage in an 8 TB drive and, as we just saw, at a tiny fraction of the cost.
9.
Bigger hard drives don't just let us store more stuff than we used to be able to, they enable entire new industries that simply couldn't have existed without these major advances in storage technology.
10.
Inexpensive but large hard drives let companies like Backblaze provide a service where you back up your data to their servers instead of to your own backup discs. In late 2015, they were using 50,228 hard drives to do that.
11.
Consider Netflix, which, according to a 2013 report , needed 3.14 PB (around 3.3 million GB) of hard drive space to store all of those movies!
12.
Think Netflix's needs are big? Facebook was storing close to 300 PB of data on hard drives in mid-2014
. No doubt that number is a lot bigger today.
13.
Not only has storage capacity increased, size has decreased at the same time... drastically so. A single MB today takes up 11 billion times less physical space than a MB did in the late 50's.
14.
Looking at that another way: that 256 GB smartphone in your pocket is equivalent to 54 Olympic-sized swimming pools completely full of 1958-era hard drives.
15.
In many ways, that old IBM hard drive isn't that different than modern hard drives: both have platters that spin and a head attached to an arm that reads and writes data.
16.
Those spinning platters are pretty fast, usually turning 5,400 or 7,200 times per minute, depending on the hard drive.
17.
All those moving parts generate heat and eventually start to fail, often times loudly. The soft noise your computer makes is probably the fans circulating air but those other, irregular ones, are often times your hard drive.
18.
Things that move eventually wear out - we know that. For that, and some other reasons, the solid state drive, which has no moving parts (it's basically a giant flash drive), is slowly replacing the traditional hard drive.
19.
Unfortunately, neither traditional nor SSD hard drives can continue to shrink forever. Try to store a piece of data in too small a space and the very physics of how hard drives work breaks down. (Seriously - it's called
superparamagnetism .)
20.
All that means is that we'll need to store data in different ways in the future. A lot of sci-fi sounding technology is in development right now, like 3D storage, holographic storage , DNA storage , and more.
21.
Speaking of science fiction, Data, the android character in Star Trek, says in one episode that his brain holds 88 PB. That's much less than Facebook, it seems, which I'm not sure exactly how to take.
http://pcsupport.about.com/od/things-you-didnt-know/fl/hard-disk-drives.htm?utm_source=zergnet&utm_medium=tcg&utm_campaign=zergnet-test-1096307

Six (6) important guidelines

*six important guidelines*

*1*. when you are alone, mind your thoughts.

*2*. when you are with friends, mind your tongue.

*3*. when you are angry, mind your temper.

*4*. when you are with a group,mind your behaviour.

*5*. when you are in trouble, mind your emotions.

*6*. when God starts blessing you, mind your ego.

Have a lovely day.

The current list of the 10 fastest supercomputers in the world

Here’s the current list of the 10 fastest supercomputers in the world:
1. TaihuLight: Sunway MPP, SW26010; National Supercomputing Center in Wuxi, China; 10.6 million cores (93.01 petaflop/s).
2. Tianhe-2: TH-IVB-FEP Cluster; National Super Computer Center in Guangzhou, China; 3.12 million cores (33.86 petaflop/s).
3. Titan: A Cray XK7 system at the Department of Energy’s Oak Ridge National Laboratory (17.59 petaflop/s).
4. Sequoia: An IBM BlueGene/Q system located at the Department of Energy’s Lawrence Livermore National Lab in California, with 1.57 million cores.
5. K Computer: A SPARC64 system with 705k cores at RIKEN Advanced Institute for Computational Science in Japan.
6. Mira: IBM BlueGene/Q; DOE/SC/Argonne National Laboratory, US; 786k custom IBM cores.
7. Trinity: Cray XC40; DOE/NNSA/LANL/SNL, US; 301,056 Xeon E5-2698v3 cores.
8. Piz Daint: Cray XC30 with 116k Xeon and Nvidia cores; located at the Swiss National Computing Centre in Switzerland.

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/230458-meet-the-new-worlds-fastest-supercomputer-chinas-taihulight?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_1085959

Some definations you don't know

Some definitions.......
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their
Mistakes.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,
but never read.
SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!

How to win him back

1) Get yourself in shape back, do exercise and look good
2 ) Eat good food i.e fruits, honey and be happy.
3 ) Get out of self-pity and depression quickly.
4 ) Dont act so dependent on him anymore and start looking for a job.
5 ) Stop reporting him to his friends/family as it has not yielded fruit. Confide in your own family instead.
6 ) Look for someone else he respects/ looks up to and talk to them about it.
7 ) Try not to pick a fight with him, watch out for any day you see he is in a good mood and discuss your the issue with him.
Thanks for reading.